Time Travel Sucks
by ejo
Summary: Time travel sucks, especially when things don't go as you plan.


**Time Travel Sucks  
><strong>written by ejo

_For Iricanus of The Revolution_

**Summary: **Time travel sucks, especially when things don't go as you plan.

**Author's Note:** It's my first time writing in this kind of format and I dedicate this story to my _first_ beta reader, Iri. _–cough— _Iri, I dedicate this entire piece for you, thanks for your hard work by being my beta reader. This may not be good, but I hope you like it. This took a long time to make but I hope you didn't think I forgot about this.

**Another author's note:** You are deceived. Winks.

You're sitting between your girlfriend and your best friend, they're chatting about stuff that you couldn't even keep up with. You feel they're doing this on purpose—on her part, trying to make you jealous; on his, trying to make a move—you don't know, but you care.

After all, both of them are the closest people into your heart. You never let anyone get close to _that_ heart.

You want to scream at them, you want them to stop, but all you could do is munch that cheeseburger that you're trying your best to swallow.

"Nat—"

You continue to munch, even though you feel like throwing it already. You don't have any more appetite but you continue to eat just because you want to stay _between_ them—to be the barrier.

You know that you're a very jealous person.

"—sume?"

You turn your head at her once you hear her calling your name. You like that, don't you? You like hearing her voice when she calls your name. You want it to stay that way, but you know forever doesn't exist.

You feel an aching pang in your chest.

"What?" you answer.

You see her brown hair swaying against the wind. Her hands place on her cheeks, just to keep her hair away from her eyes. Under the Cherry Blossom tree, you feel that time stands still. Everything looks so peaceful and beautiful, especially when you're with her.

"Is there anything wrong?" she asks.

You shake your head, trying to insist that you're okay. You always did that, just to keep her from getting worried.

"Are you sure?"

You nod while she smiles back. You give her a noogie, trying to lessen the weight of the atmosphere that occurs. You turn to your best friend, you see him giving a sad smile out and that's when you know.

You feel another aching feeling in your chest.

_He loves her, too.  
><em>

That night, you lie on your bed, recalling on this afternoon's happenings. You find out your best friend likes your girlfriend and you feel insecure about it. Hundreds of questions run in your mind, questions that make you afraid and angry at the same time.

You're scared that once you let go of her, she might run to your best friend's arms and you might break apart. You don't want them together. B-But why? It's the girl you love the most and the boy you consider your friend—they're perfect, but you don't want to admit that.

They can love another people but you admit you don't want them together.

Why?

Because you're selfish and you know it.

You don't want them to be together, just for the sake of your pride and your feelings. You're not just afraid of losing her but also your reputation. You don't want to be label as the guy who got left out in his own relationship—_you don't want that_.

You court her for two years straight, thinking she's the one all that time. Even back when you are single, you have plan for her to be your bride. You plan to have kids, share the same bed and be the guy beside her on her wedding night.

You plan things without her knowing. You always made sure that things work out the way you want them to be.

You decide to close your eyes.

You try to sleep because you know that for a moment it makes your troubles flee. When you're asleep, you feel comfortably safe—_that's what you think it is_.

You wake up.

You notice something: you're not in your room. You're in an unfamiliar place and you feel perplexed. You don't know where you are, but you manage to be calm.

The door opens, making you alarm.

You see a girl with flowing black hair. Her red eyes meets with yours, you feel uncomfortable, thinking that this girl is your sister (or looks like her) but times older than you. Her long, red dress captures your attention as crease forms on her forehead.

"Brother!" she screams, making you flinch.

You're confused and you don't what to do. She may look like your sister but that doesn't mean you're her brother.

You know one thing will fix this and you decide to do it.

"Aoi?"

She rolls her eyes and pulls you outside the room. For a moment, when you pass by the mirror, you see your own reflection.

—or is it truly yours?

You see yourself thrice older than you really are. You see shaved strands of beard sticking out from your chin and bits of wrinkles on your forehead.

You're old.

This must be a dream, you think. You pinch your arm but nothing happens. You're still in the same scene with your little sister pulling you to a car. You believe on one logical reason about this entire matter: you have travel through time.

"We're going to be late!" she announces.

You cock you head a bit. "For what?"

"Mikan's wedding!" she screams. "How could you forget?"

Your eyes bat wildly, you couldn't believe on what your sister is saying. Is she taking drugs in the future?

"Even though she's your first girlfriend," she says. "You need to attend. In spite of everything, the groom is your best friend." she fumbles for her keys inside her pouch.

You stare at her. You couldn't believe on what she just said. She must have been taking a lot of drugs then, to speak of something like that. Mikan—_she wouldn't dare_—marrying your own best friend. Your fists turn to a ball.

You feel like breaking something.

You feel like breaking _their_ necks.

"Hey bro," your sister calls, gesturing you to hop inside the car. "Come on!"

You enter and sit on the passenger's side. You pass dozens of houses already, but you're still not in the ceremony. How did this happen? You're quite sure that you wouldn't let something like this happen.

"It's a good thing that the doctor let you ou—"

Mikan and Ruka? Did they betray you? The only two persons whom you let close to your heart treat you like this? Is this real? You imagine between your hands, their neck lies. You want to strangle them until they could no longer breathe. You want to kill them.

You feel an aching feeling swirling inside your chest.

When did you turn out like this?

Are you a monster?

"—brother?"

You turn to her. You see your little sister worried about you. You're the older brother, you shouldn't let your siblings worry about you.

"I'm okay," you answer. You don't want her to worry about you, you have been doing this for a long time now. You can't mess up. You can't let anyone see the real you.

She turns back to the wheel and you spot her worried expression. You feel ashamed. How could you make your little sister bring out an expression like that?

What kind of brother are you?

"We're here," she says.

You look outside of your window and hear the endless chattering of the guests. You feel awkward around them as if it's your first time mingling with them.

You go out of the car and enter the flowery archway. You see a lot of people on their seats, waiting for the ceremony to start—waiting for your greatest nightmare to come true.

"Natsume!"

You turn your head and see a blonde man walking towards you. You spot visible wrinkles on his forehead but nonetheless he still looks great.

He pats your back and deep down you want to slap his hand away.

"You're in good shape." he compliments you.

You don't easily fall for compliments like that, especially when it comes from thieving snakes. You try to muster a smile—trying to be happy on his wedding. Did you even smile?

"I need to go now," he says. Did he think your smile is a scowl? "The wedding will be starting in about three minutes."

He walks away and you're left alone. You walk over a pew and take a seat. You notice a few people stealing glances at you. You want to scream at them, to tell them to mind their own businesses.

You growl.

Your ears perk when you hear the bridal march song. Your turn your head and see her in a white wedding gown with her father linking his arms with hers. As she passes you, you see her waving at you and smiling no less.

Did she once imagine you that in the end of the aisle it'll be you waiting for her?

You pinch your arms once again, hoping you'll wake from this nightmare. Nothing happens. Everything is as it is. This is no dream.

You don't want this to happen.

You close your eyes as tightly as you could.

This couldn't be happening.

You feel the music stop, you feel sudden silence and you feel all alone.

Your eyes open with the sound of the bird's soft chirpings. You see yourself beside your best friend, who is busy talking with his girlfriend. You find yourself holding a cheeseburger which you no longer have the appetite to eat. They're busy chatting about stuff you couldn't keep up with. You feel they're doing this on purpose—on her part, trying to make you feel left out; on his, trying to make you jealous—you don't know, but you care.

After all, both of them are the closest people into your heart. You never let anyone get close to _that_ heart.

You want to scream at them, you want them to stop, but all you could do is munch that cheeseburger that you're trying to swallow.

"Nat—"

Your best friend is between you and his girlfriend and you couldn't do a single thing about it. She's not yours in the beginning, she belongs to him. That is the truth. Your friend continues to stay between the two of you as if he's a barrier. Barriers need to be cross but you know you can't cross this one.

You know that you're a very jealous person.

"—sume?"

You turn your head at her once you hear her calling your name. You like that, don't you? You like hearing her voice when she calls your name. You want it to stay that way, but you know forever doesn't exist. Because _forever_ didn't exist between the two of you.

You feel an aching pang in your chest.

"What?" you answer.

You see her brown hair swaying against the wind. Her hands place on her cheeks, just to keep her hair away from her eyes. Under the Cherry Blossom tree, you feel that time stands still. Everything looks so peaceful and beautiful, especially when you're with her.

"Is there anything wrong?" she asks.

You shake your head, trying to insist that you're okay. You always did that, just to keep her from getting worried and to keep your friend from noticing.

"Are you sure?"

You nod while she smiles back. Your friend gives her a noogie, trying to lessen the weight of the atmosphere that occurred. Her smile could never be yours. You couldn't help but bring out a sad smile in return. You see your friend turning to you and you know he notice that expression you're giving out.

You pinch your arms and you're back to reality—back to their wedding. You don't know why but memories from the past keep on haunting you. You know you need to let go but you can't.

You feel another aching feeling in your chest.

_You love her, too._

**The End**

**Note: **I don't know whether you have understand it or not. This story seems to be a bit complicated; you need to read every single line, just to understand it.


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